singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I wear drunk well.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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