Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
