dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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