Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
