Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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