Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
