it was like fucking gandolphs beard
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
