I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
