At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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