i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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