Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
