Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Randomize
