: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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