brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Barsexuality is the new black.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
