the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
