god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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