Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize