i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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