it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
