You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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