it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
How external is "for external use only"?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
