I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
