Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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