i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
