So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Randomize
