I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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