I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
