we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
