Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
