it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize