and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I smell like Dick and happiness
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
