Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
