im drinking this country out of the recession.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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