I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
