I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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