Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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