that's an acceptable place to lick
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize