dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
