so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
