Fuck appropriateness.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
