your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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