There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
