i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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