Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
