was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
