Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
