The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
