i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
