the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
