i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I just found puke in my bra..
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize