so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Randomize
