Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
