I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
