Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
