So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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