i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
