So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
